6kv #208 - The Death Star shines overhead
#208 - The Death Star shines overhead
“Deal with big rats?”
“Use poison.”
“Deal with white whales?”
“Use fishhooks.”
“Deal with noble dragons like us?”
“Go eat sh*t!”
A series of tasteless questions and answers made one sigh at the person who came up with this unique code; they truly were a talent.
“We’re here, let’s go in.”
Felt proudly raised her smug face at Zun Zun. At her signal, Zun Zun squeezed through the narrow gap into the room.
In a word, it was dirty, chaotic, and awful.
The room had no windows, or rather, it had windows but they were deliberately sealed off. The walls were covered with equipment and tools, and the corners were piled with messy items.
Adding to this was a tall, black, old man with a flattering expression, wearing dirty, tattered clothes, standing in the dim room. Calling it a demon's den wouldn't be wrong.
“Here.”
A glass of water…milk? In any case, it was clear yet revealed an eerie turbidity. Adding to that, the black, old man had just been fiddling under the counter…Zun Zun decided not to touch the liquid.
“What an uncultured brat, I’m being so kind to treat you.”
“That’s right, that’s right, Old Man Rom is rarely this generous.”
Felt grabbed the glass of unknown liquid from the counter, drank it all in front of Zun Zun, and licked her lips with a delicious sigh.
“Milk mixed with only half water, it really is delicious!”
“…Is, is that so.”
Zun Zun twitched the corner of his mouth.
Milk mixed with water was more difficult to drink and more hateful than milk that wasn't milk, but Felt drank it with relish, and even Old Man Rom was stingy and wouldn't pour her a second glass.
“So, what’s this person’s background?”
“A client.”
Felt plopped down next to Zun Zun, and said with a grin, “He was scary when we first met. If I hadn’t escaped quickly, I would have been charred to a crisp.”
“Yes, if you hadn’t escaped quickly.”
Zun Zun sighed.
At first, he didn't plan to communicate with Felt. He was too lazy to listen to her wasting food, but he didn't expect this guy to have maxed out his evasion skills. Even such a fast attack didn't hurt her.
What?
You ask, even though he launched a sneak attack, why is Felt still speaking so nicely?
That's, of course, thanks to money.
After paying 5 large gold coins (equivalent to 500,000 Eris) as compensation, Felt generously forgave Zun Zun. Of course, more importantly, Zun Zun's excuse—to test if you were qualified to complete the commission—worked.
“You people are so annoying, hiring someone and still testing their strength. Don’t you know that I, Felt, am famous in the slums?”
“…Don’t know.”
“What did you say!?”
Felt glared at him, puffing out her cheeks.
Zun Zun looked at the tall old man in front of him, “Now that you know I’m a client, can you put down the hostility? Ah, I’m talking about that big stick.”
“Ah hahaha——, what are you talking about? How could I be hostile to a guest?”
Old Man Rom raised his hands, indicating that he had nothing in his hands. It would have been better if there wasn't a loud thud of something heavy falling to the ground.
Zun Zun silently watched him. He awkwardly reached under the counter again, fiddling with something. Just as Zun Zun was about to think, 'If this guy tries to trick me with watered-down milk again, I'll beat him up,' the guy took out a wine bottle.
“Want to have a few drinks?”
Isn't this even more outrageous!?
“What are you saying to a child!?”
Zun Zun rolled his eyes in annoyance.
Old Man Rom chuckled, and Felt seemed used to it. Not to mention, it was quite pleasant to be with them.
As Old Man Rom poured wine into the dirty glass, Felt tilted her head to look at him and said, “So, what do you want me to steal? Let me state in advance that my 'appearance fee' isn’t cheap.”
“What's an 'appearance fee'? Who taught you that word?”
Although he said that, Zun Zun's gaze lingered on Old Man Rom, causing him to laugh awkwardly again.
“The thing I want you to steal is very special, it’s…”
Zun Zun originally wanted to make up something non-existent to get a deposit from Felt, but suddenly he had a flash of inspiration.
“It’s a triangular badge with a dragon pattern engraved on it, with a red gemstone in the center, about the size of a palm… That’s right, that’s it, exactly like that… Huh???”
Seeing the badge in the girl's hand, he was dumbfounded.
“You already stole it!?”
“I just thought what you were saying sounded familiar, so I took it out. What exactly is this thing? Why are so many people fascinated by it?”
Felt fiddled with it, the badge flipping up and down in her hand.
“The last client was exactly like you, coming up and rudely attacking me, then saying the task he commissioned me was particularly difficult, so he wanted to test my skills. Speaking of which, this thing was quite easy to steal. Is it really that difficult?”
“Ah haha…”
That's because Emilia was careless and didn't dodge, allowing you to succeed.
I just don't know what method Felt used to steal the badge, or if she used Natsuki Subaru as a cover.
But none of that is important.
“I say, how much are you planning to pay?”
“…What?”
“Your goal should also be this badge, right? And this badge is in my hands. How much are you planning to pay?”
I don't want to pay a single penny.
Zun Zun didn't want this thing, but Felt looked like she was going to take advantage of him, making it impossible for Zun Zun not to bid now.
“You’ll make the customer feel resentful like that, Felt.”
Old Man Rom seemed to be teaching her the principles of doing business, stroking Felt's head anxiously. Her head was stroked so hard that it seemed like it was about to fall off, but seeing Old Man Rom's lazy expression, he knew he had no intention of harming her, and Felt was used to enduring it.
“But that person’s offer was 20 gold coins. I won’t sell for less than that.”
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“Then I’ll offer 25 gold coins.”
Zun Zun casually said this.
He didn't plan to really buy it. He just needed to confirm that Elsa the Bowel Hunter would come over tonight to kill everyone after the transaction, and then he could jump out to save people, drive away Elsa, and gain their gratitude.
“You’re hooked.”
“…Huh?”
“You’re willing to offer 25 gold coins, which means it’s worth that price. But in other words, you and that person might be rivals. If you must get it, there’s a high probability that you’ll offer an even higher price!”
Felt’s red eyes, like Zun Zun’s, flickered with greedy light.
She was obviously planning to provoke a conflict between Zun Zun and Elsa the Bowel Hunter, so that the two of them would offer more money to buy the badge.
“But Felt, what if I refuse to offer a higher price…”
“Then it also shows that it’s worth at least 25 gold coins. I can still raise the price with that person. Thank you for telling me the price of this badge.”
Either way, you won’t lose out?
Whether she was clever or just endlessly greedy, her arrogant expression twisted into an even more malicious smile. Old Man Rom didn't say a word the whole time, but the corners of his mouth seemed to indicate that he was very satisfied… The interaction just now might have been an act.
“Alright, if you don’t show me your remaining cards, this badge might fall into someone else’s hands.”
“Ah, then let the other party have it.”
“…Ah, ah?!”
Felt, who thought she had everything in her grasp, didn't seem to expect Zun Zun to say that. She looked at Zun Zun blankly, then at Old Man Rom.
“What’s wrong? I just withdrew. It’s not a necessity for me. And as you said, it’s okay to raise the price with that person, right?”
“That’s right…”
Felt pursed her lips.
If she raised the price with that person, she would be the one who was hated in the end; but if Zun Zun raised the price with that person, Zun Zun would be the one who was hated.
There was a big difference between the two.
“What’s wrong? It’s common for a deal to fall through because the offered prices don’t meet both parties’ ideals. You can just let the other party have this badge. I hope you can offer a high price. But let me give you a piece of advice: greed leads to death. Your death star is shining! …Well then, I’ll take my leave first.”
Zun Zun stood up, intending to leave.
Of course, he wouldn't really leave. After all, Elsa the Bowel Hunter would come to complete the transaction and kill everyone to silence them in the evening. He just needed to jump out to save people at that time, and then drive away Elsa to gain their gratitude.
“Wait.”
Felt appeared at the door like the wind, blocking Zun Zun's path.
“…What do you mean?”
“I can’t let you go now. Our deal has fallen through, but that doesn’t mean you won’t do something sneaky now that you know I have the badge, so I won’t let you leave. Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you. As long as you obediently wait for us to complete the transaction, I’ll let you leave after everything is over.”
Hearing this, Zun Zun was amused.
Not to mention her and Old Man Rom, even if you added Elsa the Bowel Hunter, the three of them wouldn't be enough for Zun Zun to fight… This wasn't arrogance, but Elsa the Bowel Hunter was famous for her high HP, and coincidentally, he was least afraid of tank characters.
Forcibly break out…
No, if he accidentally changed the location of the transaction, and Felt died, it would only be troublesome for him.
“Forget it, I’ll just wait here.”
“You’re quite sensible.”
Felt also breathed a sigh of relief. Having seen the power of the other party's magic, she was also a little uneasy. But in order to complete the transaction smoothly, and get the money to leave the slums, she could only take a gamble. Fortunately, the other party was wary of Old Man Rom and didn't attack… Probably.
Zun Zun sat back on the chair that made his butt hurt.
Felt seemed to be thinking about something and fell into contemplation. Old Man Rom poured him a glass of water, which Zun Zun of course didn't touch. The room suddenly fell silent.
Suddenly,
She suddenly raised her head and stared directly at Zun Zun, saying, “That’s not right! You seemed to know that I would steal this badge, because at that time you said ‘You already stole it’!”
“…Exposed? You’re quite smart.”
Zun Zun grinned.
“Actually, I’m a fortune teller. Last night I observed the heavens, the purple aura scattered to the west, the Cowherd and Dipper charged at the Sirius constellation, the Purple Star turned red, and the Kui and Wei stars entered the center palace. After calculating with my fingers, I knew that something big would happen today. Girl, do you want glory and wealth? Do you want to be second to none? V me 50, and I'll tell you about your past and present lives.”